This time it hurts..so painful..

For the past couple of wks he has been texting me day & night, chatting, flirting, etc. Tonight is back to reality & i hv tis vision of him & his oth half together tonight..it hurts so much this time..aft all we talked abt tis couple of wks wen reality check in its really painful..bt i gotta remain calm & try my utmost best nt to think abt it..still trying..

Mr K

Btw Mr K is curr on reservist & will b back in ofc on d 28th..miss him bt nt much coz he still texted me wen he's in camp..

Bef gg for my trip he did mention to me a few tings tt gt me tinking abt him & missing him so much while im away..he said tt he alws imagining me in an intimate way in ofc wenever he approach me or wen he call me fr his desk..also tt he alws imagine its me wen he is being intimate w his oth half..he too envy tinking of me & bf..hmm

Aft all tis chats & moments w him hw cn i jz forget abt him jz like tt?? Hw cn i pretend nth happen??

Watever it is i still love my bf & deep down i know he's d one i cnt live without..bt hw cn i put a stop to tis?? Hmm...

My Thoughts...

Gonna bring home-cooked fd tml onwards to save $$

Limit my outings once a wk so i wont spend; best if i'll only attend events/occasions & mit bff mthly

No more shopping

Limit $5 each wkg day; wkend TBA

Eat Kelloggs evry breakfast & dinner at least consecutively for d nx 2 wks 20th Feb - 4th Mar

Plan my activities for a mth advance to avoid "xtra" activities

..so far tts wt im tinking & oni i will know of tis plan..feel tt its best if oni i will know abt my own plans

Disgusted!!!

So freaking disgusted towards mama attention to him..i'll gv u examples of tdy itself..

Wen i reached hm fr work mama was watching TV & he was slping at d living rm..mama kip on "shh...shh" u know sth like wen u are trying to gt a baby to slp?? & wen someone ard is making abit of noise & afraid tt d "baby" will b awake?? Tt kinda noise..

The TV has to be lowered down, d fan adjusted accrd "scared tt he'll be hot", "cook sumore rice scared he wakeup at night & hungry"..

Mama was slping in her rm & awhile ago she jz wakeup & asked me fr her rm whether is he still slping..wtf??!!!!

My thoughts at this hour...

1) gg to start drinking ONLY plain water tml onwards
2) no eating aft 8pm
3) no rice meals
4) no fast food
5) coco crunch for breakfast instead of drinking coffee evry morning

..tts all for What-To-Do for now

Gg Bali in 3 more days!! Went out for dinner w 2 of my colleagues earlier..tml will b gg hm straight aft work..Wed will b meeting my BFF..Thurs definitely home straight aft work coz nd to do packing..super xcited!! Bt im still tinking nw hw much shld i budget myself for my expenditure there..hmm

Still no sign...

Still no sign of him :( gez ge's really bz tis wkend..i know yst he send off his maid to d airport so must b bz w d hse chores, etc..byk lah benda nk dibuat tu..tdy i tink he has jemputan..hmm

Aniwae tml bk to work..cnt wait to mit him too **winks** nt tt i cud spend tt much time w him while at work bt at least i hv d chance to see him ard, talk to him whenever possible..

4 more days bef me & family is gg to Bali..abit xcited bt oso worried..ye lah i jz wan for evrything to be accrd as planned & tt evrything goes smoothly..im d eldest in d family & ofcourse i hv tt bit of responsibility towards my fam tt evry but of their xpectation in tis trip is met..insyaallah..

Hanging with Friends

Usually we "communicate" through playing tis game..& whenever possible he will start to chat w me thru this game too..

Today he din play gez he's bz..& im missing him...